guiness on tap... this is what happens

So sometimes you get – not depressed – but bogged down with the reality that life isn't the same. For instance, it sucks not being able to come home and call up your friends to hang out. I totally miss those times, for sure. And you start to get down. But then you get brought back to reality. Music, art – anything in that realm helps me. It helps you ditch those stupid inner feelings that you feel, and realize the reality of life. Which is awesome. After a week of work you want to go out, get pissed and have fun. Or at least I do. (And sometimes I'll break into English slang). But tonight I wondered down to a bar with a band, and that helps me fade into the background and realize reality. The first thing you have to cope is being able to stand your own ground. Although, I've learned my independency time and time again, it takes a lot of motivation to wander into a bar by yourself – especially if you don't feel like talking to anybody. But once you cope with that, you are able to sink into your own world, absorb the music, and – just feel awesome.

So tonight I went to a bar I've been to before. But tonight they had a Cajun band. I have to say, seeing a bunch of young kids with their accordions, violins, drums, and bass – while singing in French – is smoothing experience. It helps me understand why I do what I do, and why I am what I am. I just sat there and let the atmosphere take me.

That's why I realized how stupid I am. Seriously, how many times have I flown across the country by myself? Or wandered around Europe by myself. These times were the most liberating times of my life. I remember the time I went to Germany. It was the first time I arrived in a foreign speaking country; and I was by myself. I stepped off the plane and instantly became a minority. It felt great. The best time was in Wittenbergwhere I met NO ONE that spoke English. I arrived in this small German town, and made a half-mile walk to the only hostel in town. I was able to check in, even though the lady knew no English. Then I made my way to the only restaurant in site. I felt totally separated. I was even feeling sick to my stomach because I was alone. I couldn't talk to anyone. Yet, the next morning was when I learned how great it was. I had to wake up at 7am to catch an 8am train. I stepped out of the hotel into 5 inches of snow. Everyone need to walk through a dark German town at 7am, on cobble streets, with a backpack, while it is snowing. Not only is it tricky. Its beautiful. The train ride was even better. I love snow, but no one likes driving in snow. So winding through snowy Germanycountry side, and not having to personally drive through the snow was amazing. It made my trip to Germany unforgettable.

So I compare my times right now to these many experiences I already had. It's just hard too because it completely different.

I guess I'm going to an LSU game tomorrow. I dunno why. I can't afford the ticket. Nor do I like football. I will probably leave early. We'll have to see.